Develop the ability to create and sustain a healthy relationship that speaks to your standards and core values.
School teaches us a lot as kids: how to read, how to write, how to do basic math.
But aren’t we missing out on some of the most important lessons about REAL life? Think about it…
How much different would the world have been if we knew more about how to build healthy relationships? How much different would your life have been if you were shown a great example and were taught how to cultivate healthy relationships?
So, for most of us it is a given that throughout our lives no one teaches us how to cultivate healthy relationships. We just navigate through them on our own and learning the hard way as we go.
WHAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?
Truly healthy and successful relationships do not come to people because they are lucky. Healthy relationships are the products of hard work and determination.
What is it that you truly want from your relationship?
Stop and think about this for a moment.
RATE YOURSELF AGAINST THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS:
I love myself.
I am happy with my past and how it helps build me into the person I am today.
I set high standards to myself.
I am a good partner.
I am committed to this relationship.
I communicate effectively.
I am honest and trustworthy.
I am flexible and open to other perspectives.
I appreciate our differences.
What did you become aware of?
HOW TO CULTIVATE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?
1. START WITH YOU
If you are truly dedicated to igniting or reignite the passion in your relationship, start with you. Love yourself first. If you are kind and accepting of yourself, you will attract people who will do the same. Learning to love yourself is not always easy and we sometimes need to rewrite our past, think differently about our present and get excited about our future before we can have that extraordinary relationships. This will give you strength and confidence to open yourself up to new beginnings and is a vital first step to having a healthy relationship.
Igniters: How do you see yourself? How do you treat yourself? What does your self-talk sounds like? What can improve?
2. TAKE A STEP BACK
When you start thinking about how to have a healthy relationship, we tend to focus on our partners. Instead, we should focus on the relationship itself.
Igniters: Which special characteristics does the relationship have? What brings you and your partner together? What pushes you away from each other? Can you put this into words?
A good exercise is to close your eyes and imagine how happy you and your partner make each other. Envision feeling completely fulfilled and loved by your partner. How does that feel? Why does it feel that way? Ask yourself what it is what make this relationship so special.
This exercise will probably bring all the characteristics of a healthy relationship to the surface. Write them down in your journal. Discuss the meaning of these characteristics and how, if improved, they can contribute to the relationship the both of you desire.
3. RAISE YOUR STANDARDS
You must hold yourself to high standards if you want a healthy relationship. The key here is to live as your authentic self, in control of your thoughts and emotions. When you raise the standards to which you hold yourself, you will not only raise the standards of your relationship, but you will also help bring the best out in your partner.
Igniters: What standards do you set for yourself? What do you think the relationship expects from you physically and emotionally? What do you expect from your partner physically and emotionally? (Whatever you expect from your partner, you must expect from yourself. The way you want them to show up for you is the way you must show up for them).