Identity Before Strategy

Over the last few months, I’ve noticed something interesting in almost every coaching session, whether it's a school leader stepping up, an entrepreneur rebuilding, or an athlete pushing for the next level.

The conversation eventually lands on the same line: “I don’t know what my next step should be.”

At first glance, it appears to be a strategy problem: What’s the plan? What should I focus on? What’s the right move?

But most of the time, the issue isn’t a lack of ideas. It’s that your identity hasn’t caught up with your next chapter yet.

When You’re Growing Faster on the Outside Than the Inside

People often find themselves in the middle of becoming someone new, while still carrying the fears and habits of who they used to be.

A principal stepping into a bigger role wasn’t wrestling with his application; he was wrestling with the question: “Am I the kind of leader who can carry this?”

Someone starting a new life in a new country wasn’t stuck on career choices; he was torn between his heart, his mind, and a longing for peace.

Another client exploring a career shift realised he didn’t need a new plan. He needed to reconnect with his why.

And many athletes end up asking the same simple but powerful question: “Who do I actually want to become?”

When identity becomes clear, everything else begins to fall into place again.

Why Identity Matters More Than Strategy

Strategy tells you what to do. Identity reveals who you are while you are doing it.

You can enforce discipline, but only for a short time. If your actions don’t match who you believe you are, things eventually fall apart.

Most people think they lack motivation. More often, they lack alignment.

That tension you feel? That fog? That’s the identity gap, the space between your current self and your next self.

And it’s actually a sign of growth, not failure.

Why the Identity Gap Feels Uncomfortable

This gap usually appears when:

• Life changes faster than your self-belief

• You’re stepping into more responsibility

• You’re letting go of what used to feel safe

• You’re redefining what matters

• You need a new level of maturity or courage

In moments like this, strategy feels impossible, not because you don’t know what to do, but because you don’t yet know who is deciding.

You can’t plan a future for a version of yourself you haven’t met yet.

So, How Do You Rebuild Identity?

Here are four simple steps:

1. Name what you’re outgrowing.

What beliefs, habits, or stories belong to an older chapter?

2. Define who you’re becoming.

What kind of person do you want to be in this next season?

3. Align your behaviour.

Choose one or two actions that match that identity, small, consistent steps.

4. Shape your environment.

Surround yourself with people and spaces that support your next level.

Five Quick Questions to Reset Your Direction

1. What part of my identity is being upgraded right now?

2. What old story do I need to let go of?

3. What values do I want to lead with?

4. How would the future version of me behave today?

5. What one action can I take this week that aligns with who I’m becoming?

The Heart of It

If you feel stuck, foggy, or unsure, don’t panic. Don’t rush to fix the plan.

Start with the person behind the plan.

When you know who you’re becoming, the next step almost always becomes obvious.

Identity before strategy. Always.